We just don't lie and the amount of lies she's told me, is just totally heartbreaking. I just can't look at her in the same way at all. The amount of lies my daughter has told me, is actually unforgivable. Apparently a condom broke on them (don't even believe they have been using them) and they had to do a pregnancy test. Also my daughter had promised him never ever to tell me as I would stop them seeing each other. He said that by the time he met me and got to know me, they had already had sex and by the time he realised they could of actually talked to me, the lies had got bigger and it was too much. That they had been the entire time and he couldn't carrying on lying to me anymore. Last Wednesday night I was driving him home, only us two as my daughter wasn't feeling well, when out of the blue he said he needed to tell me something. I felt lucky that my daughters first love, wasn't an absolute nightmare, but a boy who genually wanted us to like him and be part of the family. I truly, 100% believed that I had done everything in my power, to connect with two love struck teenagers and constantly prided myself on the fact that we had a great relationship. I must admit, I found myself stressing out numerous occasions, worrying about what if etc and when this happened, I would speak to them about what was on my mind. They both constantly reassured me that they weren't ready for anything sexual and they felt comfortable enough to talk to me when they felt things were progressing. I was able to speak openly to both of them about her only been 13 and said that they could come to me about anything and I would be supportive. We were always chatting about anything and everything.
I spent a lot of time with my daughter and boyfriend, we all got on great. I warmed immediately to this boy and he fit really easily into the family. My thinking has always been, if they are asking, they are wanting to know, and if they can't ask me, they will ask someone else, who may not know themselves. I am a very open and honest mum and have always spoke openly with my kids about anything they wanted to talk about. Especially with her only being 13, I needed and wanted to get to know this person well, who she was starting to spend a lot with. I met him almost immediately, we are a large, close family and I always wanted my kids partners to be welcomed and for us all to get on.
They had been "talking" on and off for about 6 months prior to going official, so by the time they went official, they were already pretty close. This boy is 2 school years above her, it works out about 18 months older than her. At the beginning of May this year, 5 months ago, she started her first relationship.
Can hardly believe I'm writing this but after a week of hardly no sleep and relationship at breaking point, I need more outside advice.